A peak inside

First, I want to apologize for this post. 

The past few days have been really rough… starting with Thanksgiving.  What started out as a happy holiday spent with family ended in tears, heart ache, and wounds that I just don’t know how long will take to heal.  As I sit reading all of your blogs recapping your holiday and the joy that you all experienced I am left with an ache in my heart.  I had planned on recapping on the day the foods that we ate, which was plentiful, and sharing pictures of smiling faces I just can’t bring myself to post any pictures knowing the way things turn out.  I know all families have their share of fights, and I know that as a family we’ll pull through, but right now it is so hard.

I haven’t mentioned this before, but right now I feel the need to share something with you all, because I know that I won’t be looked at any different than before.  I suffer from depression.  It’s something I have dealt with for a long time, and sometimes it’s a struggle.  I am on medication for it, and most times I feel like it’s under control.  I live my life, and am usually an upbeat and positive person, but when things in my life go wrong it seems to threw me off-balance.  

We went to Va Beach to see the Holiday Lights that are set up on the beach.  They are beautiful and if you’re not in the Christmas spirit you will be after driving through all those lights.  I took pictures and will hopefully post them soon.  I can’t say it was the most enjoyable trip with my family due to the night before, but I’m glad I went.  My daughter had a great time.

And now today I sit here feeling lost.  I feel an ache that I just can’t get rid of.  I can’t sit and post my eats when I am feeling the way I do.  I hope to go to sleep tonight and wake up feeling  a little more at peace.  I wish I could shut off all the thought racing through my head, and the replaying of the events of the past few days. 

I’m sorry guys to be the downer of the day, but I feel like this is now my outlet.  I love blogging.  I love sharing my thoughts, the good and the bad. 

I hope to be back tomorrow with a more positive post, but  for now I just want to say… thanks for listening.


11 Responses to “A peak inside”

  1. Di @ http://thetreadmilldiaries.com/ Says:

    If all of our posts were sunshine and smiles, they probably wouldn’t be genuine. We all have our good and bad days so don’t worry about bringing us down (you’re not).

    But I am sorry to hear that your Thanksgiving was a bit rocky and that you’re feeling somewhat thrown as a result. Hope that turns around for you real soon. And if it would help to have someone to listen, feel free to shoot me an email.

  2. Joan Says:

    I can relate to what you’re experiencing Kristen. I’ve been really down the last few days but today I woke up and all of that heaviness seemed to have gone. It takes courage and perseverance but you can do it and things will be back to where you want them to be. Then just know the sun will be brighter because you experienced this dark time.

  3. lauravirginia Says:

    There’s no need to apologize! You are exactly right – blogging is for the good AND the bad. You are also right that every family has it’s ups and downs! That is definitely one lesson that I have been learning recently… NO family is perfect, even if they look like it from the outside. I have no idea what is going on, but I’m sure that your family will pull through, and hopefully be even stronger than before! I hope you wake up feeling a million times better! 🙂

    • kristisn Says:

      Thanks! I woke up feeling a little better today, not great, but better 🙂 It seems like when things go wrong it just kind of throws your life off balance and I just have to get that balance back, and I will 🙂

  4. Jaclyn (Ananda Prana) Says:

    Blogging is for you – and if talking about the good AND the bad works for you, then we are here to listen 🙂

  5. brightbakes Says:

    First things first, you need a hug! Here one! 🙂 Secondly, cookies! A nice batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies is a simple, inexpensive form of therapy!
    Love ya!
    cathy b. @ brightbakes

  6. What Kate Ate Says:

    Hang in there! And like Laura said you have no reason to apologize. Thihs blog is for you and it serves as whatever outlet you need it to! I hope sharing this brings you both strength and support 🙂

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