Reality Bites

Does anyone remember that movie Reality Bites with Winona Ryder???  I used to love that movie.  Me and my sister would watch it over and over again.  I used to love the band Soul Asylum… they sang Runaway Train.  I used to listen to that song on repeat.  Well, the lead singer was dating Winona at the time this movie was being filmed and he had a guest appearance, and I loved him.  I waited for that split second when he was in the movie.  Ahhhh… the good ol’ days. 

Alright, that’s enough of my trip down memory lane, but in the present reality still does bite.

I’ve had a problem… and I haven’t talked much about it on here, or well, with anyone.  I’m a little bit ashamed, a little bit embarrassed, a little bit like if I don’t say it out loud than maybe it’s not true.

So for a while now… maybe the past month or two, my work pants have been getting tight.  The only pair that fits me is the size…. 16 that I bought in case of emergencies.  They are the only pair that feel comfortable.

I have never been a 16.  14… yes.  Until now.

I have a closet full of clothes and they don’t fit me.

I was going through my summer clothes, trying on some shorts and realized that none of them fit.  I do not have one pair of shorts that fit me.  They fit me just last summer and now I can’t get them past my thighs.  Wahhhhhh!

I tried on one of my new summer dresses, and couldn’t get it off fast enough. 

It was then that it hit me… I’ve allowed myself to get FAT.  I’ve hidden from that fact.  I didn’t want to admit it, but it’s something that I can no longer hide.

I do not want to go out and buy clothes at a bigger size.  I do not want to have to go shopping, because right now there is no enjoyment in trying on or picking out clothes.  I do not want to let all the clothes in my closet (some of them are new) go to waste.  I do not want to have to tug and pull at my clothes because of how unflattering I look.

Reality has hit me, and reality bites.


6 Responses to “Reality Bites”

  1. Jess Says:

    Don’t be ashamed, and don’t be afraid to buy a bigger size- just use it as positive motivation!

  2. Laura Says:

    Well if that’s not the worst feeling ever… you deserve to feel wonderful in your clothes and in your skin! I hope you’re able to find peace soon!!

  3. Alissa Says:

    We all reach that moment at some point. Just make sure you pick yourself up and keep on going. You can do this! The clothes will be such an inspiration. Maybe you could even have a goal reward of a shopping trip when you lose a certain amount of weight. 🙂

  4. Di @ Says:

    I would suggest picking up one or two things now so you’re comfortable and to then work towards getting back to the sizes in your closet. Surprise weight gains happens to the best of us – but you can come back from it. 🙂

  5. Khara Says:

    I agree with the othere ladies. Dont get too down on yourself and you should definitely buy at least a few things you can feel comfortable, or fabulous in, and then really work at getting back where you feel best. I know you can do it!

  6. adventuresofpretendcook Says:

    I understand how you feel. I have been there. But I will say that from personal experience, you feel soooo much better in clothes that actually fit (even if they are a bigger size). You can buy clothes that fit you and reward yourself with smaller clothes when you lose weight. If you wear a lot of clothes that are too tight, trust me when I say that you will feel so much worse about yourself.

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