Make Believe

I miss the days of make believe… where your days were spent pretending that you could do whatever it is you want to do.

When I was little I remember passing this office building and thinking that’s where I want to work one day.

I would see people walking in and out of that building and I thought to myself that working in an office seemed so glamorous.

I would sit and fantasize about what it was I was going to be when I got older…  a lawyer, an Olympic swimmer, a teacher.

I even set up a classroom in the basement where I could practice my teaching skills.  My favorite parts was grading homework assignments, taking attendance and recording grades in my grade book.  My mother supported my make believe classroom picking up teaching supplies for me whenever she could.  I spent many summer days becoming that teacher I dreamed about being.

I thought about being a waitress and would practice carrying my plates with one hand.  Taking my parent’s orders.  Tallying up the bill. 

The world was at my fingertips back then.  I was often told that I could be anything I wanted to be, and I believed it.

There were many other things I wanted to be…  a chef, a business woman, a therapist, a police officer, a writer.  My mood would change and so would the idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Time passed by too fast.

I lost track of the future and instead started living in the moment.

I got caught up in the wrong crowd, and lost sight of what it was that I wanted to do in life.

I was told that college was what you were supposed to do once you graduated high school.  I never took the easy road.

I got accepted into college.

I started school and lasted not even a semester.  College wasn’t for me at that time.  I felt like a failure, not realizing that people take different paths.  That it was okay, not to go straight to college. 

I got a job as a receptionist for an oil company in the office building I used to pass by when I was younger and imagined working in.

I got a second job as a waitress at Bob Evan’s, and that plate balancing act I used to practice paid off.

I worked 2 jobs for five years.  Never having one day off, except holidays.

It wasn’t probably the easiest choice I could have made.

It probably wasn’t the best choice.

But it was my choice.

10 years after being out of high school I decided to go back to school.  People ask me what I am going for and I don’t know how to answer.

Even at 30, I don’t know what it is I want to do when I grow up.

My list goes back to when I was younger… a police officer, chef, therapist, a teacher, a business woman.

I feel like the world is once again open to me.

I can be whatever it is I want to be.

It’s just once again figuring out what it is.

What did you want to be when you were younger?

Did you end up becoming it?



3 Responses to “Make Believe”

  1. Sabrina Says:

    Seems like everyone is having posts about this general topic lately. I know I had one and another on the way. I wanted to be a professional dancer. As a kid, if I wasn’t at school, I was at the dance studio. I now believe that to get something I never had, I have to do something I never did.

  2. IHeartVegetables Says:

    I was always changing what I wanted to be when I was little! For a long time I wanted to be a teacher, then a nutritionist, then a music teacher, and now I’m in marketing 🙂 go figure!

  3. workingmomworksout Says:

    I wanted to be a singer and no, I didn’t become it… Even though I briefly sang in local clubs. I have a degree in History and Sociology. Very general degrees. Neither is job specific or helpful really in getting a job. I work in one of those fancy office building and I hate it…

    I wish everyday that I could be something that I enjoyed. Maybe one day. I can relate.

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