What I learned in NC

Hi!!!!  I took a little mini vacation this past week.  I loved being away, but I have to admit that there really is no place like home.  I feel like I’ve missed so much around the blog world.  It’s going to take me forever to catch up.

What I learned in North Carolina…

Their squirrels are pretty nice.

 

squirrell

And they like Pringles.  Who knew!  Those are not my old man hands, they are my Dad’s.

They have beautiful houses.  This would be the Biltmore, America’s largest home.

biltmore

biltmore1

me

Can you imagine living in a home so large???  You would get your exercise just walking around that home.

They have really good chocolate…

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chocolate

 

Salted Caramels, chocolate covered potato chips, coconut haystack… oh my!

They have a train that takes you through the Smoky Mountains…

train

And the train serves beer!!!

beer

 

And great views..

smoky mountain

 

They have house boats…

house boat

 

That I really want to stay in.  How neat would it be to have your house in the middle of a lake?!

It also gave me a chance to read…

north carolina 002

That’s what vacation is all about spending time with some great people, ( My parent’s, niece and nephew, and of course Justine all went), in a great place, doing what I enjoy doing.

I love being away, but it’s hard to come back to reality and this…

north carolina 004

How will I ever get caught up??

Hang my head in shame

So this past Friday I had dinner.  I know big surprise, right?  I know your thinking.. Everyone has dinner Kristi.

But this dinner I took pictures of.

This dinner I was going to post,

but then I got embarrassed.

What are they going to think of me when they see what I ate for dinner?

They are going to think someone trying to lose weight shouldn’t be eating that.

They are going to look at me and think I’m not serious.

They are going to think I’m unhealthy.

They are going to think no wonder she’s fat.

They are going to shake their heads in disapproval.

My face grew red just thinking about it.

I don’t want anyone to know that sometimes eat this.

That I enjoy things that aren’t good for me.

I’m not one of those cute girls that can profess their love for candy, bacon, dessert.  They can get away with it.  Not me.

You get the picture.

I had so many negative thoughts running through my head.

I got ashamed.

And I didn’t post the picture.

But then I realized that no one is going to think of me any different.

That we might all indulge in stuff that might not be that good for you.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to lose weight.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be successful.

It just means that one day I ate something, and though it might not be good for me, I enjoyed it.

I don’t indulge in it everyday.

And I wouldn’t want to.

So here it is my friends…

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I had a piece of fried chicken, and veggies.  And I had to put my dinner on two plates.

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This is what I was afraid of.

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Not this.

Thanks for listening.

Vacation

I used to think of vacation as a free for all.

Eat whatever you want.

Drink whatever you want.

Do whatever you want.

It was where all of the eating right pressure went out the window.

I was on vacation and it didn’t matter.

I still think vacation is a time for you to let loose.

It’s your time to relax and leave the pressures of everyday life behind.

This vacation I’m going to do things a little different.

I packed a few snacks, that may not be exactly healthy, but it’s not the junk that I used to pack.

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I’m also packing these

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Because I know most hotels have gyms and I can set aside at least 30 minutes in the morning to get my a little run in.

I’m going to take a break from the every day stresses of life, but I’m not going to take a break from my health.

How do you treat vacation a free for all or stay on track?

Make Believe

I miss the days of make believe… where your days were spent pretending that you could do whatever it is you want to do.

When I was little I remember passing this office building and thinking that’s where I want to work one day.

I would see people walking in and out of that building and I thought to myself that working in an office seemed so glamorous.

I would sit and fantasize about what it was I was going to be when I got older…  a lawyer, an Olympic swimmer, a teacher.

I even set up a classroom in the basement where I could practice my teaching skills.  My favorite parts was grading homework assignments, taking attendance and recording grades in my grade book.  My mother supported my make believe classroom picking up teaching supplies for me whenever she could.  I spent many summer days becoming that teacher I dreamed about being.

I thought about being a waitress and would practice carrying my plates with one hand.  Taking my parent’s orders.  Tallying up the bill. 

The world was at my fingertips back then.  I was often told that I could be anything I wanted to be, and I believed it.

There were many other things I wanted to be…  a chef, a business woman, a therapist, a police officer, a writer.  My mood would change and so would the idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Time passed by too fast.

I lost track of the future and instead started living in the moment.

I got caught up in the wrong crowd, and lost sight of what it was that I wanted to do in life.

I was told that college was what you were supposed to do once you graduated high school.  I never took the easy road.

I got accepted into college.

I started school and lasted not even a semester.  College wasn’t for me at that time.  I felt like a failure, not realizing that people take different paths.  That it was okay, not to go straight to college. 

I got a job as a receptionist for an oil company in the office building I used to pass by when I was younger and imagined working in.

I got a second job as a waitress at Bob Evan’s, and that plate balancing act I used to practice paid off.

I worked 2 jobs for five years.  Never having one day off, except holidays.

It wasn’t probably the easiest choice I could have made.

It probably wasn’t the best choice.

But it was my choice.

10 years after being out of high school I decided to go back to school.  People ask me what I am going for and I don’t know how to answer.

Even at 30, I don’t know what it is I want to do when I grow up.

My list goes back to when I was younger… a police officer, chef, therapist, a teacher, a business woman.

I feel like the world is once again open to me.

I can be whatever it is I want to be.

It’s just once again figuring out what it is.

What did you want to be when you were younger?

Did you end up becoming it?

 

Cupcakes, cupcakes Everywhere

Happy Saturday!!!!  Rolling on the floor laughing  I love being off on Saturdays.  I feel like I’m part of the normal world, getting to enjoy the weekend like everyone else.  Today we are going to my parent’s to celebrate Father’s Day.

I told my mom that I would be in charge of dessert and got out my new Cupcake cook book for some recipes.

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I decided to make the Kahlua cupcakes for the adults and white cupcakes for the kiddos. 

weekend 006

 

I might have overfilled the cupcakes a little and they expanded on the top.  I realized the at I have a lot to learn about baking….

Justine helped me with icing the cupcakes.

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I ended up making a lot more cupcakes than needed. 

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(Sorry about my feet being in the shot!)  There will only be 10 of us at my parent’s house.  9 that can eat cupcakes, one who is a little too young still.

I had attempted to make white chocolate buttercream frosting, but that was a big ol’ Fail!  It said to heat the milk, butter, and white chocolate in a pan until all was melted.  That was my first problem it seemed the white chocolate wouldn’t melt all the way there were little pieces of chocolate in the mix.  I took everything off the heat and started adding the powdered sugar.  It said to add 4 1/2 cups.  I got to 3 and a half and the consistency of the icing was more like dough then like icing.  Should I have taken it out of the hot pot and mixed it in a bowl?  I ended up throwing the icing in the trash and got out a container of icing from the store.  Boo!  It seems like whenever I say I’m going to bring dessert to my parent’s something always goes wrong.

There was a lot of baking going on last night and by the time I was done I crawled into my bed and rested while watching Dual Survival.

This morning I got up and hopped on the treadmill.  I would much rather run outside than the treadmill, but sometimes you got to make due with what you can.  I finished watching Letters to Juliet and I have to say that it was a good movie.  It was romantic.  One of those movies that you think to yourself “Why can’t this happen to me”.  I would recommend anyone to rent this movie.  I also finished reading The Carrie Diaries.  It was so good!  It’s a quick read kind of book.  My favorite part was the last page.  I’m going to have to see if there is another book that goes after that one.  I am now reading Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi.  This is definitely the summer of reading for me.

Justine is begging me to play some Wii, so here I go.  I can’t say no to this face.

weekend 008

To track or not to track

I came to all of you with the question to track or not to track.

I know that it’s a personal a decision, and it is something that I need to decide on my own.

Deep down I knew that I needed to track my foods.  I need to make sure that I was taking in the amount of calories that I need to lose the weight that I want to lose. 

Deep down I hoped that I could learn to eat right and exercise and the weight would magically start to disappear, but as I can see, that isn’t the way for me to succeed in my weight loss journey.

I think that I needed to take a break.  I needed that time not to track every morsel that went into my mouth.  To measure out my food.  I felt like I was being controlled by tracking.  That my day would be ruined if I ate something that I didn’t know the calories for.  I was constantly looking up, adding up, subtracting numbers.  It felt like homework.. a job.

And when something like eating starts to feel like a job, you know you need to make some changes.

I want to thank everyone who entered my cupcake giveaway and who commented on whether I should track my food or I shouldn’t.

I love being able to come to all of you and ask your opinion on the matter, and I know that you all will give me your honest opinion.

I decided that I was going to start tracking my food.  I know that is a tool that I need to use to get the results I am looking for.

Losing weigh is all about the numbers.

The number of calories you eat.

The number of calories you burn.

 

The numbers that are on the scale.

 

I know that I am overweight. 

 

I know that I have a lot of work that I need to do.

 

And I know that one day I will be able to eat intuitively, but I’m not at that place yet. 

 

I need to lose the weight, and then I can learn how to maintain.

 

I can then learn to trust my body.

Winner

I  have decided on the days that I work day work that I would keep my workout simple, 30 minutes, in the morning.  No pressure.  That means I need to get up at 4:00, to get a 30 minute workout in.  That’s a lot better than trying to get up at 3:30 and hating every moment of it.

Since today was a strength day I decided to do 30 minutes of yoga, so I could get some stretching and some strength training in.  I loved every minute of it.  I feel so relaxed and strong after getting some yoga.  I’m going to at least try to get a little yoga in everyday.

Breakfast was a French Toast bagel from Panera and a Yoplait smoothie.  Both were delicious.

morning 001

I love having bagels for breakfast.  It’s one of the best breakfasts in my book., besides pancakes.  Winking smile

My lunch and snacks were almost an exact repeat of the day before… sandwich, cracker chips, fruit. 

Work today was a little… slow.  I almost finished the Carrie Diaries, that I just started yesterday.  I definitely feel like I’ll be getting my reading on over the summer if we don’t get the internet back at work asap.  I feel like I’m disconnected almost, even though I can get on the internet from home.  It’s just that whole 8.5 internet free thing…

My mom was making dinner when I got there to pick Justine up, so of course I grabbed a plate.  She had some fish and potatoes.  So good.  It usually tastes 10x better when someone else cooks, especially my mom.  Mom’s are the greatest.

And the winner of my Cupcake Book giveaway is……

Alissa Says:
June 13, 2011 at 6:24 pm

I follow you on Twitter- @Ajourneytothin

Thanks to my random integer, Justine.

Alissa send me your address at 1521kristiatgmaildotcom.

Thanks to everyone who entered!!