Keep it moving

It gets a little better everyday, or so I try to tell myself.

As I try to finish up the little bits of leftovers I have around my house I decided that breakfast would have to have a little pumpkin in it.  I had a sample of Coach’s Oats to use… so with that I made my first ever pumpkin oatmeal.  I tossed in a few glazed walnuts and a little pumpkin pie spice.  It was quite good, quite filling, and quite what I needed to start off my day.

I may have added a little spoonful of homemade whip cream... that I want to use up of course.

After dropping Justine off at school I did a much better job of going to Curves and actually working out.  I got a pretty good work out in for a little over 30 mins.  I’ll be adding in my treadmill runs, and my 30 day Shred, but thought I would add them back in slowly and not feel like I have to do everything all at once.

I’ve been on a mission to keep myself moving.  I could easily get lost in the corner of my couch with my blanket, pillow, and remote so I can access all my dvr recordings, but of course, I can’t do that.  I still have a home to take care of, a daughter to love, and I still have to live.  So I managed to do a few things like straighten up the living room getting it ready for the Christmas tree.  I did some laundry, and cooked some dinner, dishes soon followed.

For lunch I had a third of this yummy, but easy frozen California BBq Chicken Pizza.

You can't go wrong with pizza

There have been a few times that I have broken down and cried through out the day.  Not for any particular reason, just because I’m hurting.  I wish there was a magic wand that i could wave that would take all this pain away. But I know there’s no magic wand, there’s really no magic pill, there’s me.  I have to dig myself out of this dark place and back into the light.  I’m sure I’ll learn so much about myself throughout this time, and I’m sure I’ll come out so much stronger than before.

I did make myself some dinner before I had to head into work.  I might not be making the most creative things, or even the healthiest, but it’s a start.

I had these Gorton’s frozen shrimp

These shrimps are pretty good and easy to prepare. Throw them in a little oil and saute them for about 12 minutes.

I roasted some acorn squash, and heated up some Uncle Ben’s Cajun rice and my meal was set.

A perfect dinner. I ❤ you acorn squash!

For a little somethin to munch on while I was at work I brought some plain greek yogurt, blueberries, a little coconut, white choco chips, and almond slivers.  That is one of my favorite snacks right now.  It has so many flavor combinations.

And for dessert…. two of Mama Pea’s Peanut butter cookie dough balls.

Who can be sad when they have two of these babies for dessert.

I’m looking forward to my two days off… even though it’s Tuesday, it’s my Friday.  Woot woot!

And can I just tell you… the goods are starting to be dropped off in our office our ready.  As everyone was chomping down on chocolate chip cookies, I passed knowing I had better cookies for later.  A year ago I would have probably had a few of these cookies, and a few of those cookies…. that’s something to be proud of right?

It’s a start

Thank you all so much for your supportive comments.  I love knowing that there are people everywhere willing to read my blog, and show their support when I am down.  There’s not a better feeling.  I woke up today and felt a little better, and a little is better than nothing right?  I was determined that I was going to make today productive, and not allow my day to go to waste with all the negativity that has been surrounding me.  So for breakfast I ate two chocolate banana muffins with 1/2 tbs mighty maple peanut butter on top.

These were a delicious way to start the day

After dropping Justine off at school I headed over to Curves to get a workout in since I don’t think I’ve seen any exercise in over a week!  The shame.  As soon as I walked through the door the electricity went out, so I left.  I’ll try again tomorrow. 

I started wrapping Christmas presents today, mainly so I could make my way to the Christmas decorations in the back of my closet.  I pulled and pushed all of my bins of decorations and felt like I got a mini workout in.  I’m leaving the decorations until I’m home with Justine and we both can decorate together.  And truthfully… I’m not in the holiday spirit just yet.  I want to be, but it seems like there’s this black cloud hanging over the month of December, but I’m going to try my hardest and get it to move on.

Lunch is a little embarrassing 🙂 I couldn’t even bring myself to take a picture of it, but I’ll let you in on my little secret… I had a piece of fried chicken and fries.  So not good for me, but it was leftovers and the last piece, so at least it’s out of my house.  My face is red with embarrassment.  Hahaha.

That was my day in a nut shell.  I had to head into work this afternoon, and can I just tell you… I hate being in the car by myself right now.  My mind goes a mile a minute, and sometimes I just want it to stop.  It’s like I’m scared to be alone with my thoughts… I know it sounds crazy… I try to blare my music to drown out everything else.

I need some happy songs to put on my Ipod.  Any suggestions?  What songs do you listen to that will lift your mood when your down?

Dinner tonight was a yummy salad.  I had some produce that I needed to use up so I had romaine, carrots, tomatoes, and onions… a little chicken on top and some Sesame Ginger Dressing.  If I haven’t said it before, I love salad 🙂

Yummm...

Chicken!

So my food hasn’t been too great today.  I’m mainly trying to use up leftovers and all.  I haven’t been to the grocery store in about 2 weeks, so I’ll definitely need to go soon.  When I get in my rut, I seem to lose all sense of order in my life.  I forget how to plan my meals, and track my food… so this week my goal is just to get back on track.  To get myself balanced, because you know if you can get one thing right the rest will follow.

Here are a few pictures of my past weekend…

Holiday lights in Va Beach

 

Volcano

View from the car

 

View from our room

And I think this is the sweetest thing….

Someone wrote I love U Forever in the sand

And finally my little Justine enjoying the Va Beach aquarium

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. -Helen Keller

A peak inside

First, I want to apologize for this post. 

The past few days have been really rough… starting with Thanksgiving.  What started out as a happy holiday spent with family ended in tears, heart ache, and wounds that I just don’t know how long will take to heal.  As I sit reading all of your blogs recapping your holiday and the joy that you all experienced I am left with an ache in my heart.  I had planned on recapping on the day the foods that we ate, which was plentiful, and sharing pictures of smiling faces I just can’t bring myself to post any pictures knowing the way things turn out.  I know all families have their share of fights, and I know that as a family we’ll pull through, but right now it is so hard.

I haven’t mentioned this before, but right now I feel the need to share something with you all, because I know that I won’t be looked at any different than before.  I suffer from depression.  It’s something I have dealt with for a long time, and sometimes it’s a struggle.  I am on medication for it, and most times I feel like it’s under control.  I live my life, and am usually an upbeat and positive person, but when things in my life go wrong it seems to threw me off-balance.  

We went to Va Beach to see the Holiday Lights that are set up on the beach.  They are beautiful and if you’re not in the Christmas spirit you will be after driving through all those lights.  I took pictures and will hopefully post them soon.  I can’t say it was the most enjoyable trip with my family due to the night before, but I’m glad I went.  My daughter had a great time.

And now today I sit here feeling lost.  I feel an ache that I just can’t get rid of.  I can’t sit and post my eats when I am feeling the way I do.  I hope to go to sleep tonight and wake up feeling  a little more at peace.  I wish I could shut off all the thought racing through my head, and the replaying of the events of the past few days. 

I’m sorry guys to be the downer of the day, but I feel like this is now my outlet.  I love blogging.  I love sharing my thoughts, the good and the bad. 

I hope to be back tomorrow with a more positive post, but  for now I just want to say… thanks for listening.

My excitement for the day

I wasn’t really sure what I would be writing about today. 

I ate leftovers all day…. breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I wanted to use up as much food as I could before Thanksgiving.  I knew the days would be busy and the food would be plentiful, and I didn’t want anything sitting in my fridge going bad.  I didn’t take any pictures, since they were all repeats.

I went to work today, and though it was my Friday…. the day went by so slow.

Until…

We had a bomb scare…

and they called out the bomb squad….

which brought out the robot…

They blew up the box

and found out it was safe.

It was time for me to go.

I’m glad it wasn’t anything dangerous, and that it made the rest of my slow day go by fast.

I came home and made some chocolate banana muffins, and got everything I could get ready for my Thanksgiving dessert,

and now it’s time for some wine and relaxation.

I probably won’t post until Sunday so I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.

OIAM?

I wasn’t sure how to start my day off today, but figured I couldn’t go wrong with OIAJ…or rather OIAM. 

Oats In A Mug

I added a few chia seeds and a tbs of peanut butter, but it just wasn’t the same as in oats in a jar.  I guess I’m going to have to wait for a near empty jar of peanut butter, but if it comes down to it I would make OIAM to carry me over til the next empty jar.

For my snack today I had some plain yogurt with 1 tbs coconut, 1 tbs white chocolate chips and 1/8 cup slivered almonds.  I love that combination in my yogurt.  You get a little taste of everything. 

My snackage for the morning

The only thing that would make it better would be some blueberries, which I have ready for my yogurt tomorrow.

Lunch was the same salad as yesterday…my salad with the Mexican Flair.  I did add some multigrain tortilla chips to the mix.  Yesterday it just felt like something was missing.  I think because I was so upset about my black beans being disgusting.  The chips did it’s job and it left me feeling satisfied.  For a little after lunch snack I had a crispy rice peanut choco drizzle bar.

So yesterday I had some pear on my pizza and while cutting into the pear I realized I was going to have to make something with the rest of them.  They were a little to ripe for me to just eat plan.  Thankfully, I received The Best Life Diet Cookbook by Bob Greene, in the mail today and when I was flipping through the recipes I saw a Pear and Bana Crisp.  Perfect!

Pears and bananas and a little bit of sugar

The recipe said to use a food processor to make the crisp, but since I was trying to save some time I sed my blender instead.

Ugh, maybe the blender wasn't such a good idea

When this recipe called for a food processor, it meant a food processor.  The blender just didn’t chop like it needed too.  I made it work, but next time I’ll definitely be using the processor.

Ready to cook

While the dessert was cooking, I started on some vegetables purses.  I had some cabbage to use up and went on search of a recipe to help me use it up.  I found this recipe on Foodnetwork‘s website and thought it sounded pretty good.  It also called for some wonton wrappers, which I also needed to use.

I started off by cooking the cabbage in a tbs of sesame oil.

2 cups cabbage and 1 tbs soy sauce

That cooked for about 3 minutes, or until the cabbage was soft and wilted.

Then I put a heaping tsp into the center of each wonton wrapper.

Take up all the edges and press until it looks like a purse

Ready to cook

Heat a tbs of oil.. I used grapeseed oil and cook the  purses for approx 1 minute or until the bottoms are golden.  Add 1/2 cup of chicken broth, simmer, and cover and cook for 5 mintues. 

Once the veggie purses were finished cooking I heated up 3 oz chicken and drizzled some garlic teryaki sauce over top.

Yummmmm

This was probably the quikest, easiest, and one of the most tastiest meals I’ve made recently.  This recipe is definitely a keeper.

And then there was dessert…

I cut into this baby and had it with a little bit of sugar free butter pecan ice cream.

Perfection

This recipe was great.  It wasn’t too sweet, but had just enough sweetness to make it feel like dessert, and since I’m trying to use up my leftovers to make room for Thanksgiving leftovers, I think I’m going to have this crisp for breakfast.  Sounds good to me!

Justine helped me get the dishes cleaned…

And now we have to get ready for one more day of work.  Yessss!

Starting the day off right

Today I took my sick day, and though I wasn’t happy about Justine being sick, and I was happy about getting to sleep a little later.  My breakfast consisted of Mighty Maple peanut butter on sandwich thins, a smoothie with a tbs of chia seeds, and a pumpkin spiced latte (that I made at home).

A good way to start the day

That breakfast kept me full for a long time.  I wasn’t sure when we would get into the doctor, so I was glad to see that it held me over for a few hours.  I did prepare better than I had a few days ago and packed a snack.  I didn’t want to have another McDonald’s attack like I did on Saturday.  While we were out I ended up snacking on a Luna Protein Bar. 

Chocolate Peanut Butter

This bar was ok.  I think when it comes to Luna I prefer their regular bars.  This tasted too much like a protein bar.  If that makes sense.  It did it’s job though.  I ended up making it home before I ate again.

Justine has tonsilitis… she’s on some medicine and is on the road to recovery.  I’m so glad I ended up taking her.  Sometimes I second guess myself, like what if it’s just a cold, but I knew this was something more.  The doctor said she should be feeling better in the next few days.  My back was feeling a little better today, but it still hurts.  My exercise has been slacking the past few days, so I’m definitely going to Curves after work tomorrow.  I need to get back into the routine.  It seems like if I miss a day or two of exercising it throws my whole routine off and it takes me a few days to get it back. 

For lunch I made the most yummiest pizza.  I used the last of my naan bread and put pears, yellow peppers, onions, crumbled bacon, and a little mozzarella cheese.

Naan with a little olive oil, garlic, and pears... just the beginning

Loaded and ready to cook

I couldn't wait to get my hands on this...

I wasn’t sure how all the ingredients would go together, but it was so good.  I was impressed with myself today 🙂

My day was pretty uneventful after that.  I did a few things around the house and now I’m just waiting to go to bed.  I’m so sleepy this evening.  I don’t even know why I slept for almost 12 hours last night!  Geez, you would think that would have been enough, but nope, I was feeling tired all day today.  Which leads to my special treat.

After the doctor I was super tired.  We had to go to Target to get the prescription filled so I decided today was a day for Starbucks.  I had a $3 coupon for a latte, so I gave it to the cashier after ordering my tall creme brule latte with skim milk and no whipped cream.  She was having a hard time with the coupon so she ended up giving to me for free.  Yessss!  There’s nothing better than a free Starbucks.

I kept dinner simple… 3 oz chicken, a cup of roasted cauliflower, and sweet potato fries, with a little Honey Mustard for dippage.

Pretty simple, but yummy

I’m not sure what, if anything I’m going to have for dessert tonight.  I’ve already had one of Mama Pea’s (www.mamapea.com) Peanut Butter Cookie Dough ball, maybe I’ll have another 🙂

Today was the end of my contest and instead of a random integer, I used something better…. Justine.  She was given the range of numbers and told to pick one.  The number she picked was 4… which means Jess is the winner.  Jess said

“I’d use it in my chicken casserole sounds kind of weird but I promise it’d be good!”

Congratulations Jess.  Send you’re emailing address to me.  My info is under the contact tab on top of my page.

Pretty Pitiful Household

Well, me and Justine make a pretty pitiful household this evening. 

I woke up bright and early so I could do my 30 Day Shred before I had to go to work.  Yup, I’m already back at work.  It didn’t even feel like I had a weekend off, but I’m back to working day work.  I got my exercise in, but soon after I was done the center of my back between my shoulder blades started hurting.  It’s been hurting all day and hasn’t got much better. The only thing I can think is that I pulled some kind of muscle when I was exercising this morning.  And poor Justine still has a fever 😦  I’m taking a sick day tomorrow so I can take her to the doctor.  I don’t want her to be sick for the holidays.  We’re both lying around looking like we were just through a battle.  I don’t think either one of us does very well when we’re sick or are in pain.  We’re two little babies 🙂

For breakfast I had the same sandwich as I did yesterday.  It was so good Saturday morning, I knew it would be just as good this morning, and would keep me pretty full through the morning.  I had some plain yogurt for a snack with some Bear Naked Banana Cereal.

This is a great addition to some yogurt

I only had a little sample pack of this, but I will definitely be buying some more to add into my yogurt or even eat as cereal.  It has a great taste, not too banana-y, but just right.

 For lunch it was salad time.  I had a salad with some Mexican flare.  I had diced tomato, onion, avocado, 100 cal pack of Monterey cheese, and some salsa for the dressing.  I had black beans to put on the salad, but for some reason the sauce that was on them kind of grossed me out when I was heating them up.  I had found these bags of seasoned black beans and all you had to do was heat them up.  I thought it might be a quick and easy thing to have on hand, but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat them.  They ended up in the trash, and you know I hate throwing food away.

My salad and all it's fixins

The rest of the evening was spent watching Nascar with my Dad.  We’re on a pool that lasts all season, and tonight was the final race.  My Dad ended up winning the pool and I tied for third which means I won $100.  Woot Woot! 

I think I’m going to go put a heating pad on my back and hope that tomorrow I wake up feeling much better!